I will win.

I am obese. I can't breathe when I walk up the stairs. I can't run... at all. I cannot walk past a plate of food without wanting to eat it. I am the girl who cannot decide which item on a menu she wants and then usually orders both. I am the person who ate that box of cookies you know you had sitting on the table yesterday. I am the Santa that eats the Christmas cookies. I love to eat. I love to go through the drive thru and get two drinks so that the person taking my order thinks I am getting two meals for two people.

I am sick. I have rolls from my chin to my ankles. I am unhealthy. I will not let food kill me. I will beat this.

I have started this blog in hopes to keep myself accountable. I don't care if you read it, or if anyone else reads it. I only care if I read it, and if I write in it.

I will hold nothing back, because I will not display my identity in this blog. I can be that girl you sit next to in class, in the office, in the cafeteria, or anywhere really. I can be the fat lady you make fun for no other reason than it makes you feel better.

It is no fun being Obese. It is no fun being laughed at. I hate leaving restaurants that only have booths. I would love for my husband to be able to pick me up and know he was picking up a girl and not a sumo wrestler.

Food tastes so good, but it is not worth giving up my life. It is not worth giving up amazing sex for. It isn't worth not being able to see the top of a mountain. It isn't worth not being able to run around and play with my children someday. It's not worth hating myself over.

And I will win.

Screw obesity. Screw being over weight. Screw food... you are good, but you are not that good.